The Laughable Spy
Moscow yesterday accused my former Tashkent roommate, British diplomat Chris Bowers, of being a spy. I've exchanged emails with Chris, and he's taking it with his usual good humor.
The Russians claim that Chris, the U.K.'s trade envoy in Moscow, has been a spy for years, even when he was the BBC's correspondent for Central Asia in the early 1990s. Meaning even when he was my roommate on Ivleva Street in the Uzbekistan capital.
If Chris was a spy, he was a terrible one. Having spent much of two years with him, I can say he didn't collect much information, apart from a lot of chatter from Tajiks intent on killing each other in a civil war. Indeed Chris refused to do so. Once, he actually reversed an order I had given to our office manager, Aziza Nuritova, to start news files on all the major topics in the region. "I've got it all in my head. We don't need files," he said, pointing to his curly locks (now short and gray, by the way.).
Most of the time, in fact, Chris was wooing the girl next door. Whom he married by the way.
Chris is about to leave Moscow anyway on to his next diplomatic posting. The Russians know that and are simply targeting the easiest game.
The Russians claim that Chris, the U.K.'s trade envoy in Moscow, has been a spy for years, even when he was the BBC's correspondent for Central Asia in the early 1990s. Meaning even when he was my roommate on Ivleva Street in the Uzbekistan capital.
If Chris was a spy, he was a terrible one. Having spent much of two years with him, I can say he didn't collect much information, apart from a lot of chatter from Tajiks intent on killing each other in a civil war. Indeed Chris refused to do so. Once, he actually reversed an order I had given to our office manager, Aziza Nuritova, to start news files on all the major topics in the region. "I've got it all in my head. We don't need files," he said, pointing to his curly locks (now short and gray, by the way.).
Most of the time, in fact, Chris was wooing the girl next door. Whom he married by the way.
Chris is about to leave Moscow anyway on to his next diplomatic posting. The Russians know that and are simply targeting the easiest game.
Labels: bowers, britain, Russia, spy, uzbekistan
2 Comments:
Steve, both you and the FSB got Chris wrong.
You see, if you put your former roommate's behaviour in a broader context, it becomes crystal clear he's a spy. Memorising everything instead of using notes and files? Heck, that's straight from Russian spy movies, where a handsome Soviet intelligence officer commits to memory reams of data, putting today's computer hard drives to shame. One such movie - Sword and Shield - is said to have influenced one young, impressionable Vladimir Putin's career choices.
Wooing a girl next door? That's called honey trap in spy jargon[http://www.randomhouse.com/features/spybook/spy/970121.html].
and the use of this technique shows that Chris works for the Ghanaian intelligence service which has used this tactic in the past,[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeypot_(espionage)]
Once you put Ghana into the picture, all pieces of this puzzle nicely snap together. Chris talking to Tajiks? Easily explained. Ghana probably took a dual-containment stance towards the civil war in Tajikistan. Support both sides in order to weaken them. That would allow Ghana to upgrade its status in Central Asia from a mere supplier of students to medical and technical colleges there to a major provider of coconuts. You see, Ghana is a big coconut producer and is always on the lookout for new markets.
The Ghanian connection also indicates that the girl Chris was courting would have to be working for the other side. That would be Côte d'Ivoire, Ghana's next door neighbor and by definition - its arch rival. The girl was setting up her own honeypot. Her task was to undermine Chris' efforts to bring imports of Ghanaian coconuts into Central Asia and instead promote Côte d'Ivoire's cocoa there. You see, Côte d'Ivoire is a major producer of the stuff and always on the lookout for new markets. It also wants to keep its neighbor's geopolitical aspirations in check.
As is often the case in geopolitical games, the outsiders defeated each other to the detriment of the natives. Poor Central Asians never got to enjoy either coconuts or cocoa.
You see, as the English saying goes, when there is a will, there are dots to be connected.
P.S. The much maligned arranged marriage appears to have its merits in this context. At least you know, who you are marrying, don't you?
Welcome Xenia. Hahaha. That is hilarious. Many thanks for the wit and best Steve
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